


Printers and Chocolates

by 3x3



Series: Translations of hydrviolence [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, kleinphy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3x3/pseuds/3x3
Summary: Jared Kleinman and Connor Murphy, second grade, after the printer incident......Translation of the fic 打印机和巧克力





	Printers and Chocolates

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [打印机和巧克力](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13837011) by [hydrviolence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydrviolence/pseuds/hydrviolence). 



> As usual all the tags stayed the same.  
> Ya'll know the drill by now.  
> Fic written by the lovely hydrviolence <3

Second-grader Connor Murphy went famous. He threw a printer at Mrs.G.

As a witness to the “act of bravery”, Jared Kleinman decided right there and then to become Connor Murphy’s friend. There were many perks to being the friend of a hot-tempered, simple-minded maniac; like, he could make Connor hurl a computer screen at Mr. H, whom Jared absolutely loathed, and let Connor take the blame while he himself got off scot-free.

A few days after the printer incident, Connor Murphy reappeared at school, and Jared Kleinman began his mission.

It was lunchtime, and Connor was sitting on the quietest set of stairs in the whole building, the ones that led to the top floor. He sat on the steps, head drooping, furiously picking at his shoelaces with his nails, making a mess of his shoes.

Jared went on over, taking two steps and coming to almost eye-level gaze with Connor. He studied Connor with his head down. Connor’s slightly curly hair was getting a bit long, blocking his face from view. Jared cleared his throat. “Hello.”

Connor stopped yanking at his laces, but kept his neck bent.

“I said,” Jared said, “Hello.”

Connor lifted his head to look at him.

Jared casually aimed at a conversation. “Have you had lunch yet?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Jared dug out a bar of chocolate from his pocket. “Do you want some chocolate?”

Connor stared straight at Jared’s face, not sparing a single glance at the chocolate in his hand.

“I brought chocolate.” Jared offered.

Connor stood up abruptly, fists clenched tightly. Because he was already sitting three steps above Jared, when his towering figure rose up, it was obvious who had the advantage in height.

“What? It’s just chocolate……”

“You mocked me!” Connor yelled down at Jared.

“I didn’t!” Jared swore that he didn’t mock Connor. Maybe he did want to poke fun at Connor a little bit, but he was certain that there wasn’t even a hint of taunt in his words. “What did I mock about?”

“The printer!!!”

Okay. “The printer was pretty cool.” Jared argued, “No one’s mocking you for the printer.” That wasn’t true, obviously.

Connor was still glaring, fists clenched.

Jared tried to hand over the chocolate once more.

Connor looked at the chocolate. Then he looked at Jared. “No one just gives out chocolate like that.” He said.

Jared realized that maybe Connor wasn’t dumb at all. He wasn’t just a little smarter than Jared originally anticipated, he was a _lot_ smarter.

“What do you want?” Connor asked.

“Uh……” Jared stalled, putting the chocolate back into his pocket. He raised his arm and offered his hand. “Friendship.” He said solemnly.  
It was a bit comical, how pretentious he’s being. He’d thought about giving “a kiss” as an answer, just to mess with Connor, but decided against it, remembering Connor’s tendency to violence. Better stick to the lame and overused, albeit safer, “friendship”.

Connor looked at Jared’s outstretched arm. His fists slacked, then tightened again. He shuffled on his feet, switching his balance back and forth. “Friends?”

“Yup.” Jared nodded.

Connor Murphy shoved Jared Kleinman backwards and raced down the stairs.

Jared fell flat on his back. He lay unmoving, stunned. His butt hurt. He sat up and retrieved his glasses, weirdly upset.

 

That day after school, Connor Murphy caught Jared Kleinman on his way home.

He was walking on the street, when suddenly he got ambushed from behind, pushed into an obscure alleyway. When Jared finally realized what was going on, he was already pinned on the wall, Connor’s nails digging into his shoulders.

A surge of regret washed over Jared. He really, really, shouldn’t have been poking around the sociopath’s business!

“Sorry, sorry!” Jared apologized quickly. Not really _for_ anything, just for the sake of hoping Connor could spare him after hearing some sort of apology.

Connor wasn’t even loosening his hold.

“Sorry! Sorry! I’m very sorry!” Jared closed his eyes, firing off apologizes. Then...he heard Connor’s voice.

“Does it count?” Connor asked.

Jared tweaked open an eye, seeing Connor’s arms against his shoulders. “Huh?”

“What you said. Does it still count?” Connor was shuffling with his feet again. Left, right, then left again.

“What?” Jared asked cautiously, opening his other eye as well.

“You said…...friends.” Connor nodded once.

Jared remembered it. “It counts.” Of course he had to say that, in order to save his own hide. “Totally!”

Connor let go of him.

Jared didn’t even have the time to let out a breath of relief before Connor started rummaging through the left pocket of his shirt. Nothing. Then he proceeded digging in the right one.

Jared flinched back. “What?”

“Chocolate.” Connor said, “Chocolate!” He reached for Jared’s pant pockets.

“Chill, chill.” Jared held out a hand to stop Connor, fishing out the bar of chocolate from his backpack with his other hand.

Connor snatched the chocolate immediately, clutching it protectively. He held it close to his chest and took a step back, staring at Jared.

Jared stared right back.

“Thanks.” Connor said quietly, running off. With the chocolate still clutched in his hand. He ran off without looking back.

Jared sighed. He didn’t regret poking around the sociopath’s business anymore. Not at all. Quite the opposite. He was pretty satisfied with it.

He lost the chocolate, but perhaps he gained a new friend.  
  
Jared never did succeed in manipulating Connor into hurling that computer screen at Mr. H.

Partly because Connor was smarter than he’d anticipated; partly because, well, okay, Jared never really wanted to hurl a computer screen at Mr. H, nor did he plan on talking Connor into doing it for him.

There’s really nothing to regret about.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments for the original Chinese piece would be wonderful!!


End file.
